Courage
May 29, 2022
Before we examine the subject of courage, we need to look at our fears. Talking about fear, I have a monkey mind sitting on my shoulder, with its arms crossed and saying, “Who do you think you are? Why would anyone read your writing?” Or “That is too dangerous. You might get hurt.”
I have wanted to do more social justice work at this seemingly apocalyptic time. But when in doubt, take a class. So, I went to the divinity school. While I don’t regret the three years that I spent learning so many valuable lessons, the little voice in me often wondered if I am avoiding starting the hard work out there by hiding in the school. My seminary teacher said, “Celia, you don’t need any more education. You have all you need to go out and change the world.”
Like many people, I often avoid watching TV or reading the paper when there seems to be nothing but bad news. But the question is, how will the world change by us looking away? Without us Bearing witness, do the trauma, tragedy, and atrocity just go away? When we worry too much about getting overwhelmed, who will step in? Bearing witnesses takes courage. It can at least prevent these atrocities from becoming an inevitable part of our modern life.
Often, in the racial justice workshops I ran, white folks would wring their hands, expressing their anguish over how racism continues to permeate our society and their feeling helpless toward combating this social illness.
All these fears including fear of failure, not doing it perfectly, getting hurt, not being good enough, being overwhelmed, etc., often cause very smart and well-intended people including myself to become paralyzed into inaction.
Franklin D Roosevelt said,” courage is not the absence of fear but rather the assessment that something else is more important than fear.” This “something else” is another voice in me, strong and persistent that haunted me to act. It demands that I answer the call.
This last week, I went to visit my old friends, Jim and Jackie on the East Coast. Jim’s cancer has metastasized into his bones. Instead of continuing the treatment without hope for a cure, he decided to enter hospice care after consulting with Jackie. We had several deep conversations about the act of letting go. He shared Paul Tillich’s quote, “the courage to die is the test of courage to be”. Since life is precious and impermanent, all we got is the present moment. That is what Jim is doing, letting go of control of his life but taking control of every moment he lives. I watched him continue to follow his conviction to do social justice work from his wheelchair. I watched Jackie go around picking up most of the work in their lives that used to be shared by them with such strength, grace, and flexibility. Their courage and quiet determination make me wonder what I am waiting for to do the work I am called to do.
In her book called “Feel the Fear and Do it Anyway”, Susan Jeffers encourages us to take our fears as our companions on the road to fulfill our life’s purpose. Let me ask you, “What are you willing to feel your fear and do it anyway?”